Dreams..the actual ones that occur during sleeps , the ones
that don’t let you sleep and then there are haunting nightmares. Dreams are the
in thing now, chasing dreams, living lives and whats life without them. From
the time we learn to think and talk every one wants to know what are our dreams
and if we are working towards them. Years end with the dreams made true and new
ones begin as resolutions to keep.
Its so easy to dream when young, we plan out everything
perfectly and neatly, without any ifs and buts. Fictional and perfect without a
back up plan. Perfect career, perfect relationships, perfect partner and long vacations and all of these happen at
the right time and right place and we dream about them repeatedly as though
rehearsing and re rehearsing dreams actually help in turning them real.
Throughout my childhood , all I wanted to do was to grow up
fast so that I could relish my dreams and it happened eventually too. I grew up
fast and even that was not the case, I acted like one nerdy desperate fellow
with glasses and books all around me, boring serious type scoring good grades
all the time. With proud parents and happy teachers I seldom had time for
friends . I was competing hard and overdoing things at times, fighting myself
only to win the battle and lose the battle eventually as someone famous who
dreamt like me wisely said.
Lately over a conversation with a friend we discussed how we
were given pencils and papers, encouraged to do things and erase and mend
mistakes (remember I said pencils). But back then all I want I wanted was to
pass out of primary school years so that I could own my own fountain pen and have
my share of ink stained fingers. Ironically life wasn’t and isn't all that easy
in the fountain pens years. Mistakes are mistakes, of course we move on
striking them to continue the journey but the scars remain faithfully.
The charm of living the present is lost in urge to fast forward
things, dreaming (aka worrying) about future. Let the horoscopes, astrology,
numerology, tarrot reading and psychic
reading rest in peace. What is with chasing dreams , running races.
So I’m here, not dreaming (BIG) any more. Happily reading
till sleep calls, writing about that the conversations that happen in my mind,
talking endlessly, chewing my food before I swallow, enjoying the mornings and
the nights. What is the point of living a life with no time to stare at the
night sky and get lost at the awe of the stars and talk about their mystery but
instead worry about tomorrow’s mysery?!
Henry Miller knew it right-I have no money, no resources, no
hopes. I am the happiest man alive.
(PS – Shhhh…..Nobody knows about that secret notebook in
which I write my bucket list. Writing this was one of them, harmless you see!)
