The gift of tears

A cry of a just born baby brings joy to a whole family, the first cry being the signal of a new beginning, a life. But its a human instinct to suppress tears, failing many of us to realize the peace and magic that true tears can give.

As toddlers we are stuffed with chocolates, toys and goodies to not cry. Growing up we are advised to be strong hearted and not fuss over things with tears. In a way women are lucky as they have the  freedom to express their tears, probably  the only way many women emote.

But on the contrary there goes a saying-When you are holding back your tears, you are drowning your heart.
Every person experiences this magic of tears, which could either be on happy notes or fades away one's sadness,  the real smile that struggles through tears. It is a moment of relief, a moment of peace, a moment of silence, a moment of love, a moment of being, the moment of surrender, that magical moment of life.

I first came across this phrase during a conversation with a friend, which she said is a term to describe the moment you feel god in your prayers, when there is a sudden outburst involuntarily and people who experience this are blessed. It was then I realized that tears mean a lot more, they are words spoken by the eyes when our lips fail.

Memories relived can make one cry. When we relive that moment in past, recalling those exact words, that very smell, that touch, it can bring tears, entangling emotions with tears. Looking back on those laughters that can actually make us cry, aaah memories.

The magic created by music can move you to tears. The lonely nights spent with the company of music playing to your ears with earphones making every beat a beat of the heart, the moment you melt away, surrendering yourself with the rhythm, the lyrics and the soul of the song makes one forget the time and place. I have to  bow to all the musicians around the world and  those beautiful sounds of nature that make my life.

Books, I am so thankful that god made men who could express their thoughts through words. A book has a stronger impact  you because it doesn't restrict your thoughts and visualizations. Words expressed in the right way tear through you that a scene enacted in reality can't.  I have a very personal experience with this book "infinithoughts", initially called the "frozen thoughts". Every time I read it, I am moved to tears, I am yet to figure out whether it is because it hits me straight, or if it is because that I am happy I am me everytime I read it or simply because it full of energy.

It is such a irony that I am trying to express what gift of tears are to me and still justifying that they are what we experience when we are crippled in all other forms of expression. But there is always a good reason to shed tears otherwise too-

  கண்ணே உன் விழியால் பிரரகழுதால்
  கண்ணீரும் ஆனதம் ஆனந்தம்.

wah taj!!

In spite of being a hardcore Indian which I am and a student of architecture, it was only mid way through my course that i got to visit the Taj and experience the mystical magical moment, the moment.

Growing up in an era where tea brands to TV commercials portrayed Taj mahal much more than a world wonder, I failed to to realize the charm it carried and lived in. I dont remember if it was my indifference or ignorance that made me waste 20 fruitful years of my life..Errr

I couldn't help recalling the moment after the TV played songs from Mouna Raagam and Thandavam back to back, featuring the TAJ. Here goes the story.The college trip part of our curriculum in 2008 gave our batch two unforgettable experiences, the Taj hotel in Mumbai was bombed a couple of days after we had visited the place and had happily photographed ourselves right in front of it. We had chills when we saw the place being telecasted live for close to 24 hrs  the day of hostage.

The better half of the trip was more than a soother. We woke up to the chilly December morning in Delhi to be told by our coordinator that the D Day at Delhi has come and it was the Taj, amid confusions if to wear a black or a white, Oh yes the wardrobe decisions are never easy to make, I settled for a black, mentally I just wanted to standout at Taj and not realizing it was more than a backdrop any day.

After a good deal of bargain at the gates for a thread bangle and cleaning of camera lens, I followed the herd along the path that led to the memorial. I feel a chill run down even now as I recall that moment, the moment I got the glimpse of the marvel in front of me, the euphoric moment to be true. It was beyond the white marble, more than the intricacy, not even the symmetry or the architecture. It was Taj , completely, yes the whole is always greater than the sum of the parts, even if every part is a delight by itself.It made me go bi polar(discovered the word recently, didn't know it was that then), the moment where your vision goes hazy, mouth goes dry, hands numb, legs fail to move, the surrounding go mute but the mind is ecstatic. The moment I cant express through words, that just was understood by my heart more than my mind.

Every time after this transcendental awakening, whenever I see a painting or an image of the Taj, I cant help thinking how it makes me feel so small. A wonder made by man to represent the best of feeling s of mankind, that which makes you fall in love with it, again and again, endlessly.

Wah Taj!!
( I am sure a second trip to here will be better because,
Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.-Paulo Coelho)